Valley of Tears

Those who have read Violet Eyes know I've written about death; but I have to tell you that I have no experience with losing someone dear to me. I've lost family dogs (which was awful), but never before have I had to grieve for a human being so close to me that losing them rips a hole in my heart. Nearly all my words were imagination.

In a way, that changed this week. A good friend of mine lost her father in an accident, and he had many years left compared to the average lifespan of a man. It was totally unexpected, and his death hit the family hard. I never met him, but I witnessed my friend's hope and grief during this traumatic event, and for the first time I have a slight understanding of just how awful this kind of loss is.

There is one part of death that became apparent to me as I watched my friend go through her valley of tears with the passing of her father. When you submit yourself to the will of God with faith and hope, there is also true charity. It's hard to explain how, but amongst the grief there is a comfort — a drawing closer together as you're reminded of how fragile life is and how every moment counts. In my friend's case, her father was taken when he was in perfectly good health, and I imagine that might make it harder than if she had time to prepare herself for his eventual death. But as I watched her family pulling together, saw the friends who supported them, heard the story of how their neighbors tried to help save his life, and prayed with my friends for his recovery, I didn't see despair. I saw love.

There is a saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and I think it applies here. It is possible to take a very bitter attitude towards the death of a loved one; but if we open our hearts and remember faith, hope, and charity, God can use tragedy to make those of us left behind stronger in virtue than ever before.

Please pray for her family, and any family who has lost a loved one. Then go spend time with yours. I will certainly try to spend more time with mine.

Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.

 

Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass... And then you see it.

 

Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?

 

Gandalf: White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

 

Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.

 

Gandalf: No... No it isn't.

~ The Return of the King, by J.R.R. Tolkien